Don't you send me to vm
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
