i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
