I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
