So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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