i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
