it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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