pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
