Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
of course. lets lasso hookers.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
