there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
