Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
