OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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