the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
