Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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