Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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