im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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