my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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