He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
