you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
