she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
