I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
