What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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