is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
