I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Fuck appropriateness.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize