How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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