she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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