I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I am puke
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
