He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
God, you're like boner-b-gone
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
