it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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