i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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