i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
