I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
