Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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