DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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