Your face is a jimmy john
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize