Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize