a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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