I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Come on in and take your pants off
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