my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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