Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry foxnewsdominates hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(216): View more from Ohio

I don't usually arrange sex via text message

Fav 8 1549 774
share tweet
(631): View more from New York

there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby

Fav 13 1086 2500
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok

Fav 17 4725 922
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.

Fav 48 1404 4618
share tweet
(513): View more from Ohio

he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.

Fav 7 3257 1160
share tweet
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...

Fav 7 4540 1181
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(360): View more from Washington

He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn

Fav 6 2937 802
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(207): View more from Maine

In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.

Fav 1 331 264
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(352): View more from Florida

I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.

Fav 0 55 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT