is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
