He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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