dude i'm inner monologue high
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
