i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
