I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
