Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize