He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
