Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
