soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
