Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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