I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
