Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
