she woke up with a sticky ear
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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