what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
