I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
