Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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