oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
