My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
