We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
