What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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