did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
