So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He better not be in your backpack
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
