sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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