that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
