Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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