but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize