are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
