this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
