Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
