I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize