I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
