Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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