NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
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