How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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