I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
