What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
