a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
